So you said that this last post should be about us. Wow. That's hard to do, believe it or not. I don't even quite know what "about you" means. Does it mean... compare God feelings before to now? Is it an evaluation of the class? See where the confusion comes rushing in?
At the end of Hebrew School yesterday (still crying about that), my acting class did an only okay job of performing Twist of Faith, which became through the class, my least favorite play. Ever. Anyway, I found myself thinking something along the lines of, "After a whole year of classes, why wasn't this better?" I thought maybe it was the teacher's fault? Maybe it was the class' general lack of talent's fault? Maybe it was the fact that we were all distracted? Maybe, just maybe, it was E, all of the above, and no one had a choice, but it was supposed to turn out that way.
Fate? Destiny? Ususally I think that kind of stuff is complete crap. Stupidity. Idiocy. I could keep going, but I think I'm good. Anyway. My point is that before I stopped and thought about it, I never had any trouble with the concept that things didn't happen because they were supposed to. It used to be the same with God, I guess, but then I took this class and stopped and thought and now I have these questions that I'm not quite sure I want to answer for myself, but I don't see any other choice: questions like, do I actually believe God exists in that six-year-old bearded guy up in heaven way? Why would God let the Holocaust happen? Just... why? Who? Where? How? This may sound stupid, but in my head this is causing damage.
So I guess this post became about sort of what this class has meant to me. And I'm not going to only say thank you, though I will say it later, but I hope that you appreciate what you've done: you've made me think. And that's not necessarily pleasant.
But...
thank you.
21 May 2007
15 May 2007
Makeup
I think I'm missing something like 3 entries? The only one I actually know the assignment for, or remember any of the information for, was the following. Sorry, Josh :\
My God Poem: [I think that was Hasidism? Unless it was Kabbalah... or if it was Buber?]
A clothesline:
Beliefs hanging, softly
swaying in the gentle
breeze
of faith. Lovingly put up
by an unseen ghost,
but the support for endless amounts
on the connecting line.
It is strong. It is weak.
At any moment it could
break
and
fall.
But it doesn't: it stays
pathetically holding its ground
as it waits for affirmation
of its hope.
The dreams fade over the years,
the harsh sunlight of reality bleaching
its strong naivete and innocence
until it is a watermark on an
impassioned future.
My God Poem: [I think that was Hasidism? Unless it was Kabbalah... or if it was Buber?]
A clothesline:
Beliefs hanging, softly
swaying in the gentle
breeze
of faith. Lovingly put up
by an unseen ghost,
but the support for endless amounts
on the connecting line.
It is strong. It is weak.
At any moment it could
break
and
fall.
But it doesn't: it stays
pathetically holding its ground
as it waits for affirmation
of its hope.
The dreams fade over the years,
the harsh sunlight of reality bleaching
its strong naivete and innocence
until it is a watermark on an
impassioned future.
Renew, Reuse, Recycle
Where is there room for renewal in Judaism for you? Sorry, Josh, but this was the wrong question to ask me. Considering I am a Jew from a Reform background, with two parents who believe in Reform Judaism and go to a Reform temple with a Reform rabbi, and in exactly one week I will be performing an exclusively Reform ceremony with all of my Reform friends, I think there's tons of improvement that could be implemented in my branch / denomination of Judaism.
They could stop Confirmation, for example. It's what I'm freaking out about, because it's happening in 7 days... I mean, I will always be a Jew. Confirmation's point is to show that you will be a Jew forever and ever, etc. I WILL ALWAYS BE A JEW. I don't need some silly ceremony involving white robes and wheat to tell me that. I don't focus on that kind of Judaism, so I don't pledge to be a good Reform Jew for the rest of my life. Also, half the kids in my confirmation class, including me, are only doing this ridiculous waste of time and money and resources because after a fight with their parents, they were still ordered to do this stupid thing. That's not a heartfelt oath, and it's almost better that we were honest with the G-dawg and didn't commit to Reform Judaism if we didn't want to.
The Reform service has definite need of improvement. All that English. All the responsive reading. The way that the kids in the back yell and scream and no one says anything because, well, we're reform, it's not a problem. The way that some people say "a service a month! What a commitment!" The way some people deface the books, because, well, we're Reform, we don't care about that stuff anyway. The way people wear crosses for earring because, well, it looks all punk, and well, we're Reform Jews, we don't care about that stuff. The way non-Jews can go onto the bimah and give the Torah blessing just because they're married to a Jew and raised Jewish kids (I'm all for intermarriage and I don't think they should be discriminated against, but aliyah [sp]? Seriously?). There's room for improvement there.
Then there's Reform Judaism in general: The shield we can hide behind. Do you know how many times I have heard "Oh, well... we're Reform." I hear it when talking about why people aren't kosher, why they don't go to shul, why they don't ever eat Jewfood - brisket or gefilte fish or any of the mile-long list of desserts. I hear it when people don't have a bar mitzvah, or when my aunt, a non-Jew, had an aliyah [sp] at my evil cousin's bar mitzvah. I hear it too much. It has become unacceptable.
Again, I'll try to add more opinionated views to this post if I can, but I'm at work so that could be hard.
They could stop Confirmation, for example. It's what I'm freaking out about, because it's happening in 7 days... I mean, I will always be a Jew. Confirmation's point is to show that you will be a Jew forever and ever, etc. I WILL ALWAYS BE A JEW. I don't need some silly ceremony involving white robes and wheat to tell me that. I don't focus on that kind of Judaism, so I don't pledge to be a good Reform Jew for the rest of my life. Also, half the kids in my confirmation class, including me, are only doing this ridiculous waste of time and money and resources because after a fight with their parents, they were still ordered to do this stupid thing. That's not a heartfelt oath, and it's almost better that we were honest with the G-dawg and didn't commit to Reform Judaism if we didn't want to.
The Reform service has definite need of improvement. All that English. All the responsive reading. The way that the kids in the back yell and scream and no one says anything because, well, we're reform, it's not a problem. The way that some people say "a service a month! What a commitment!" The way some people deface the books, because, well, we're Reform, we don't care about that stuff anyway. The way people wear crosses for earring because, well, it looks all punk, and well, we're Reform Jews, we don't care about that stuff. The way non-Jews can go onto the bimah and give the Torah blessing just because they're married to a Jew and raised Jewish kids (I'm all for intermarriage and I don't think they should be discriminated against, but aliyah [sp]? Seriously?). There's room for improvement there.
Then there's Reform Judaism in general: The shield we can hide behind. Do you know how many times I have heard "Oh, well... we're Reform." I hear it when talking about why people aren't kosher, why they don't go to shul, why they don't ever eat Jewfood - brisket or gefilte fish or any of the mile-long list of desserts. I hear it when people don't have a bar mitzvah, or when my aunt, a non-Jew, had an aliyah [sp] at my evil cousin's bar mitzvah. I hear it too much. It has become unacceptable.
Again, I'll try to add more opinionated views to this post if I can, but I'm at work so that could be hard.
08 May 2007
A Paradoxical Kind of Logic
Poets adore paradoxies. Oxymorons. Two words than cannot resolve themselves with each other. Somehow, that kind of impossibility lets them express the torture happening inside their head, or whatever.
Burning ice.
Dryest rain.
Beggarly riches.
Somehow, Religion and Science don't seem to fit into the depth that the above present for contemplation. Religion and Science are just two different ways of looking at the world. They don't need reconciliation or to hold hands and dance, they just need to peacefully coexist. So why is it that people have such trouble understanding both, and accepting both, equally?
Religion is illogical. It requires blind faith and the total trust that your fate is in someone else's hands. Well, that doesn't make sense. If I press one more key on the keyboard, I'll have made that choice myself. But science requires that we all understand the complexities of things we, as normal common folk might not understand. I can't split atoms in my bedroom, and I can't dissect a human body and discover what's inside whenever I feel like it, so it can be difficult to trust scientists to tell us what's "really" going on. Of course, this is all very literal.
Human beings are logical: Before homo sapiens had the means to figure out the "truth," how was the sky blue? How were we created: how did we get here? These are things we couldn't explain... but a god could. The god of rain explained why there was a sudden shower of water from the sky every once in a while, and the god of the harvest explained why sometimes humans had the bad luck of not getting any food. Then along came our good friend Abe, who said something along the lines of "These are fake, there's only one God." We all saw the light, OMG... fast forward to much, much later in time, when suddenly the Holocaust is going on, and people wonder, as seen in Night [brainwashed by Zev "Crackhead" Shanken, sorry], that how could God exist and let people die? Science is reliable, never unpredictable. There is a composed set of possible reactions. It is stable. That's why it's so popular, I think.
It's hard to reconcile two opposites, but it is possible to see a pendulum effect:
A: Religion
B: Something bad happens. How could God do this?
C: Science
D: Science becomes hard to understand
E/A: Religion
B
C, etc.
It's not hard to see why religion is a fallback. God is there. God will help. Ozone layer? No problem. Afterlife? His pleasure! [I'm not just talking about Judaism here.] However, and this is where personal opinion comes in, I think that steps D and E are becoming longer, and the A step is becoming weaker. Steps B and C are becoming shorter. As humans, logical beings, and with the technology, education and resources available to us, step D is almost non-existent, replaced perhaps with D2: Science becomes annoying. [Well, it does.]
I don't know if any of this made any sense, but my class period is over. TTYL, bbz.
Burning ice.
Dryest rain.
Beggarly riches.
Somehow, Religion and Science don't seem to fit into the depth that the above present for contemplation. Religion and Science are just two different ways of looking at the world. They don't need reconciliation or to hold hands and dance, they just need to peacefully coexist. So why is it that people have such trouble understanding both, and accepting both, equally?
Religion is illogical. It requires blind faith and the total trust that your fate is in someone else's hands. Well, that doesn't make sense. If I press one more key on the keyboard, I'll have made that choice myself. But science requires that we all understand the complexities of things we, as normal common folk might not understand. I can't split atoms in my bedroom, and I can't dissect a human body and discover what's inside whenever I feel like it, so it can be difficult to trust scientists to tell us what's "really" going on. Of course, this is all very literal.
Human beings are logical: Before homo sapiens had the means to figure out the "truth," how was the sky blue? How were we created: how did we get here? These are things we couldn't explain... but a god could. The god of rain explained why there was a sudden shower of water from the sky every once in a while, and the god of the harvest explained why sometimes humans had the bad luck of not getting any food. Then along came our good friend Abe, who said something along the lines of "These are fake, there's only one God." We all saw the light, OMG... fast forward to much, much later in time, when suddenly the Holocaust is going on, and people wonder, as seen in Night [brainwashed by Zev "Crackhead" Shanken, sorry], that how could God exist and let people die? Science is reliable, never unpredictable. There is a composed set of possible reactions. It is stable. That's why it's so popular, I think.
It's hard to reconcile two opposites, but it is possible to see a pendulum effect:
A: Religion
B: Something bad happens. How could God do this?
C: Science
D: Science becomes hard to understand
E/A: Religion
B
C, etc.
It's not hard to see why religion is a fallback. God is there. God will help. Ozone layer? No problem. Afterlife? His pleasure! [I'm not just talking about Judaism here.] However, and this is where personal opinion comes in, I think that steps D and E are becoming longer, and the A step is becoming weaker. Steps B and C are becoming shorter. As humans, logical beings, and with the technology, education and resources available to us, step D is almost non-existent, replaced perhaps with D2: Science becomes annoying. [Well, it does.]
I don't know if any of this made any sense, but my class period is over. TTYL, bbz.
03 May 2007
This Week...
Right. So I have no idea what this weeks assignment was, but as I missed last week and therefore have two missing, I figured I'd write something about our favorite guy: Heschel. Can I just say that I love him? a lot?
About his theory that God IS the light, which is one that struck me especially: this is one of the first Jewish philosophers we've read about this year that doesn't require God to be a transcendent and omnipotent overseer. The fact that God is the reason we look is different than God being what we're looking for. Of course, that begs the question, what ARE we looking for? Personally, I think it's less an understanding of our light, but a deeper appreciation of the light. I think this relates to Josh's fantabulous square / circle masterpiece. I can try to recreate it here:
Sorry, Josh, but I think I may have actually surpassed your skill. Anyway.
The fact that God isn't just in us, but that we are in God, as I interpret this, is also new. Illuminated, one might say [ha ha]. Again, a sign not of transcendence but of being among us. God is wherever we invite him in. Does that mean we can invite him into ourselves? Does that mean we can invite him into someone else? Is God inviting us in, too?
If God is inviting us in, that poses a problem. Not only where we are being invited into, but why? Could God learn from us? This is getting off-topic, I know, but it is true that Abraham gave God a piece of his mind on Sodom and Gemorrah Night. Maybe it's a two-way street and God needs to accept us like we have to for Him.
Back to Heschel, though, I found it shocking that it was so poetic. It seems remarkably informal, in a way, to be a text of philosophy. It seems like Heschel sat down one day and literally put his own feelings on paper, and they sort of just happened to be about God. I mean... light? the literal poems scattered throughout our text? Rarely do we see any text these days that lets its hair down - or pages, I guess. Such an "informal" style actually seems beneficial. I mean, Judaism doesn't use a four-hour midnight mass every December 24-5, it's a relatively quick service that is, for a majority of the time, personal. Silent. So for people who are so interested in praying to God by themselves, in a community [Paradox? Not really.], it would stand to reason that a book designed in such a relatable style would work.
Well, in any case, it worked for me. I've been writing poetry since I was young, and only recently I've lost my inspiration, and a person with such amazing ideas and theories about the very nature of our beliefs is admirable. It's a tough subject, and if God didn't inspire him, maybe his Light did. But if what that square / circle masterpiece and what I think AJH was trying to say is true, then the Light and God are one and the same. Same with God and... a butterfly. Or a dragonfly. Or a dragon! God is, just like I am and we all are. It's an existence that needs no defense and no reason, it's just a fact of life. Of course our lives are remarkably shorter than God's, obvs, but the point is that God is a reason to keep on looking, to keep on praying. Maybe it's humans themselves who make miracles happen, but without a reason - God - nothing would ever happen at all.
Am I making any sense?
Didn't think so.
Anyway, my period's almost over, and I'll try to do the real post soon, because this was basically stream-of-consciousness, but I just wanted to have something up. And this doesn't nearly accurately express how much I fell in love with AJH.
About his theory that God IS the light, which is one that struck me especially: this is one of the first Jewish philosophers we've read about this year that doesn't require God to be a transcendent and omnipotent overseer. The fact that God is the reason we look is different than God being what we're looking for. Of course, that begs the question, what ARE we looking for? Personally, I think it's less an understanding of our light, but a deeper appreciation of the light. I think this relates to Josh's fantabulous square / circle masterpiece. I can try to recreate it here:
Sorry, Josh, but I think I may have actually surpassed your skill. Anyway.
The fact that God isn't just in us, but that we are in God, as I interpret this, is also new. Illuminated, one might say [ha ha]. Again, a sign not of transcendence but of being among us. God is wherever we invite him in. Does that mean we can invite him into ourselves? Does that mean we can invite him into someone else? Is God inviting us in, too?
If God is inviting us in, that poses a problem. Not only where we are being invited into, but why? Could God learn from us? This is getting off-topic, I know, but it is true that Abraham gave God a piece of his mind on Sodom and Gemorrah Night. Maybe it's a two-way street and God needs to accept us like we have to for Him.
Back to Heschel, though, I found it shocking that it was so poetic. It seems remarkably informal, in a way, to be a text of philosophy. It seems like Heschel sat down one day and literally put his own feelings on paper, and they sort of just happened to be about God. I mean... light? the literal poems scattered throughout our text? Rarely do we see any text these days that lets its hair down - or pages, I guess. Such an "informal" style actually seems beneficial. I mean, Judaism doesn't use a four-hour midnight mass every December 24-5, it's a relatively quick service that is, for a majority of the time, personal. Silent. So for people who are so interested in praying to God by themselves, in a community [Paradox? Not really.], it would stand to reason that a book designed in such a relatable style would work.
Well, in any case, it worked for me. I've been writing poetry since I was young, and only recently I've lost my inspiration, and a person with such amazing ideas and theories about the very nature of our beliefs is admirable. It's a tough subject, and if God didn't inspire him, maybe his Light did. But if what that square / circle masterpiece and what I think AJH was trying to say is true, then the Light and God are one and the same. Same with God and... a butterfly. Or a dragonfly. Or a dragon! God is, just like I am and we all are. It's an existence that needs no defense and no reason, it's just a fact of life. Of course our lives are remarkably shorter than God's, obvs, but the point is that God is a reason to keep on looking, to keep on praying. Maybe it's humans themselves who make miracles happen, but without a reason - God - nothing would ever happen at all.
Am I making any sense?
Didn't think so.
Anyway, my period's almost over, and I'll try to do the real post soon, because this was basically stream-of-consciousness, but I just wanted to have something up. And this doesn't nearly accurately express how much I fell in love with AJH.
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